Facebook Fog Brain

Having a medical condition is no fun. Sure, you might get to miss school- but on the other hand, you're more out of it than Paris Hilton, your nose is more clogged than the New Jersey Turnpike at rush hour, and everything, even your favorite strawberry ice cream, tastes like cafeteria mush. Or you're allergic to the gooey, sugary chocolate chip cookies that your friends swear are OHMIGOSH SO INCREDIBLY GOOD. Or no one has heard of your condition before, and they're all like, "What?" and you have to explain it to them in excruciating detail, which is so very awkward. You then receive Pitying Looks.

The point of this post?

If you've gotten here from Facebook, you probably have a certain medical condition.

 And you don't even know it.

Don't worry, it won't kill you. However, as a fellow sufferer, I can assure you that it will make you miserable as heck.

The name of this insidious pseudo-disease?

Facebook Fog Brain.

To illustrate its nature, here's a little anecdote, mainly drawn from personal experience.

It's 10 PM. You've just finished five minutes of studying for a quiz, so you go on Facebook to check if anyone's replied to your oh-so-clever status. (No one has.)

Three hundred of your 1,029 friends are online. (Unfortunately, the thirty-seven or so that you actually talk to are not among them.)

Oooh, someone liked something! "Zebras are so chill because…" Hey, that looks pretty funny. You'll go on I Like and like it. And then you'll like a few more things… and a few more things… maybe take a quiz, and then refresh to see if the one person you really want to talk to has logged on yet… (Nope, he/she hasn't.) Has anyone posted a status update you want to comment on? (Nope.)

Refresh, refresh… go back to I Like and like a couple more things… refresh… maybe you have something better to be doing? No, you're too zoned out to care...

Before you know it, it's 12:30 at night. You're unbelievably tired, your butt hurts, and you still have to finish studying for your quiz. Oh, and your brain feels like a big bowl of disgusting, gooey-gluey plain oatmeal… in short, not only have you wasted an evening, you feel like… ugh. Just… ugh.

This condition, as mentioned above, is known as Facebook Fog Brain. It's one of the main reasons why I decided to create Facebook Free-Fridays… seriously, who wants to feel like an oatmeal-head? Yeah. Not me.

Of course, by 12:30 at night, it's a bit too late to salvage a wasted day- or my fog brain, for that matter. However, if you catch Fog Brain's warning signs, the best thing to do is to log off ASAP- or pamper your brain by signing up for Facebook-Free Fridays!

(Hint, hint!)

Have you ever suffered from the dreaded Facebook Fog Brain? Any guesses about what its warning signs might be? Or does Facebook give you another sort of made-up medical condition altogether? Questions, suggestions, compliments on my hair… hey, what do you think the "comments" box is for?