Contest: Become a Guest Blogger!

While traveling along the internet superhighway in my imaginary car, (which, sadly, doesn't quite measure up to traversing  outer space in a telephone booth) I've noticed that many blogs often have guest bloggers: people who take over a blog for an entry and blab about whatever before the blog's real owner comes to their senses and kicks them out.

And I'm like, "I GOTTA GET ME SOME OF THAT."

Here's the deal: you, too, can become an invasive species- er, guest blogger- for the Facebook-Free Fridays blog. All you have to do is send an email to facebookfreefridays@yahoo.com. In less than a single-spaced page, explain why you want to be a guest blogger, why you would rock at it, and what you would blog about.  If your entry is one of the best, you'll get to stage a temporary take over of the blog!

I'm thinking two winners and one or two honorable mentions, or one winner and two honorable mentions, or perhaps even more. It all depends on how many entries I receive.

"Blogging" may stand for "web log," but it also stands for "awesomeness." So get in there and start writing those contest entries ASAP!

P.S.: The contest will run from now to the first Friday in March, but I'll notify winners along the way.

Facebook Fog Brain

Having a medical condition is no fun. Sure, you might get to miss school- but on the other hand, you're more out of it than Paris Hilton, your nose is more clogged than the New Jersey Turnpike at rush hour, and everything, even your favorite strawberry ice cream, tastes like cafeteria mush. Or you're allergic to the gooey, sugary chocolate chip cookies that your friends swear are OHMIGOSH SO INCREDIBLY GOOD. Or no one has heard of your condition before, and they're all like, "What?" and you have to explain it to them in excruciating detail, which is so very awkward. You then receive Pitying Looks.

The point of this post?

If you've gotten here from Facebook, you probably have a certain medical condition.

 And you don't even know it.

Don't worry, it won't kill you. However, as a fellow sufferer, I can assure you that it will make you miserable as heck.

The name of this insidious pseudo-disease?

Facebook Fog Brain.

To illustrate its nature, here's a little anecdote, mainly drawn from personal experience.

It's 10 PM. You've just finished five minutes of studying for a quiz, so you go on Facebook to check if anyone's replied to your oh-so-clever status. (No one has.)

Three hundred of your 1,029 friends are online. (Unfortunately, the thirty-seven or so that you actually talk to are not among them.)

Oooh, someone liked something! "Zebras are so chill because…" Hey, that looks pretty funny. You'll go on I Like and like it. And then you'll like a few more things… and a few more things… maybe take a quiz, and then refresh to see if the one person you really want to talk to has logged on yet… (Nope, he/she hasn't.) Has anyone posted a status update you want to comment on? (Nope.)

Refresh, refresh… go back to I Like and like a couple more things… refresh… maybe you have something better to be doing? No, you're too zoned out to care...

Before you know it, it's 12:30 at night. You're unbelievably tired, your butt hurts, and you still have to finish studying for your quiz. Oh, and your brain feels like a big bowl of disgusting, gooey-gluey plain oatmeal… in short, not only have you wasted an evening, you feel like… ugh. Just… ugh.

This condition, as mentioned above, is known as Facebook Fog Brain. It's one of the main reasons why I decided to create Facebook Free-Fridays… seriously, who wants to feel like an oatmeal-head? Yeah. Not me.

Of course, by 12:30 at night, it's a bit too late to salvage a wasted day- or my fog brain, for that matter. However, if you catch Fog Brain's warning signs, the best thing to do is to log off ASAP- or pamper your brain by signing up for Facebook-Free Fridays!

(Hint, hint!)

Have you ever suffered from the dreaded Facebook Fog Brain? Any guesses about what its warning signs might be? Or does Facebook give you another sort of made-up medical condition altogether? Questions, suggestions, compliments on my hair… hey, what do you think the "comments" box is for?

Change Your Status, Facebook-Free-Fridays-Style!

Facebook statuses are important. They tell the world what we're up to, what mood we're in, and- in a way- who we are.   You can't pick just any status; it has to be perfect. It's like a prom dress. Okay, you don't actually wear your status, but you want something that fits your unique personality and stands out from the tedious crowd. And if you plan to have the same status for an entire day, the choice can become even more difficult. With that information in mind, here are ten statuses that I'd be proud to rock my friends' homepages with for an entire 24 hours.  Some are serious; some are, well, not.

1. [name] is dead… or is she?
2. I've decided to go back to nature, like in that Spongebob episode, so I'm giving up Facebook for a day. Look for me- I'll be the pantless yodeler sprinting through your backyard.
3. 35 percent of young adults waste too much time on Facebook. SADFACE. Show your support by putting this as your status for 24 hours! (Oh, and by logging off Facebook.)
4. Don't you hate it when adults say that teens have no life apart from Facebook? As part of the grassroots movement Facebook-Free Fridays, I plan on proving them wrong. See you in 24 hours!
5. For the next 24 hours, I'll be on a secret mission with the FBI, so I won't be on Facebook… I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you!
6. Only two people have enough willpower to give up Facebook for 24 hours: Chuck Norris and [name].
7. Hey, adults, guess what? I can give up Facebook any time I want.
8. Texting + Facebook =  textbook, but (-Facebook) + getting off the computer = anything you want.

What will your status be on the first Friday in February? Share your ideas in the comments!